Some months ago, Yoplait was running an ad campaign educating women on the calcium contents of yogurt. Did you know that the leading brand of yogurt has only 20% of a woman’s daily recommended amount of yogurt? I didn’t either. But can you imagine having to eat 5 yogurts per day? That would be awful. I don’t know how women can stand to be themselves.
But Yoplait has a solution. See, their yogurt has a whopping 50% of a woman’s daily recommended calcium. (So, doing the math, you only need to eat two per day.)
Now, I think this is a solution in search of a problem. Yogurt is great! Why would a woman (or anyone, really), regardless of her risk of osteoporosis, want to cut back on her yogurt intake? (Have you seen Michael on Burn Notice? I can’t remember anything about that show, but I guarantee you, he won’t be getting osteoporosis any time soon.)
But okay. Yoplait wants to convince women everywhere to buy their yogurt. (It’s better for you!) So they were giving out free yogurts to encourage women to try the yogurt. Just go to the website, fill out the form, yada-yada.
Sweet! I like yogurt! I totally went to the website, all decorated in dramatically girly girlishness, and filled out the form. And today, I got my free yogurt coupon. I’m so excited. Free food tastes even better!
Somewhere out there, though, there is a woman who wanted a coupon, but they ran out just before she filled out the form. She was denied. She’ll never have her chance to taste the goodness that is a free Yoplait yogurt. (She’s been oppressed by the man—me.) I hope she doesn’t break her hip.
I do not like yogurt. You can have my free yogurt coupon. Because I’ll be drinking some MILKY-MILK tonight!